Heart Surgery = Complete!! i my pacemaker

Mar 8, 201010 min read

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Published: Mar 8, 2010

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_{That's right. My heart surgery is all done, I have a new kind of pacemaker and the battery runs out in 14 YEARS! So I will be 30 by the time I need a new one! Anyway, I have my life back. Read on for gory details! ... haha

Thursday 25th Feb - the day before the procedure:
I was 150% shitting myself. Worrying, panicking, thinking too much, being to excited, worrying it wouldn't work, getting my hopes up, worrying that I have my hopes up too much, BLAH BLAH BLAH! I was shitting myself! Did not get much sleep that night. I hugged my plushie panda who I named Edgar Allan Panda (after Edgar Allan Poe) all night!

Friday 26th Feb - in the morning - 5.30 am:
Was woken up by Liam (who kindly spent the night with me so he could come to the hospital) and put my bag in the car. Then my mum, dad, Liam and myself got in the car and drove to the hospital. Still shitting myself! And still hugging Edgar Allan Panda!

Friday 26th Feb - at the hospital:
Checked in, got changed into the hospital gown and lay in the hospital bed in the recovery room, waiting to be seen. A few nurses and doctors came in to see me. They put on my hospital ID bracelets, gave me warm blankets (YES, THEY WERE ACTUALLY WARM!) and all admired Edgar Allan Panda! He was having a great time! After a couple of really long hours, it was my turn to be cut open! The anethetist came in and injected me with some relaxation drug that made me loose my hearing and made me sleepy. He also told me "You probably won't remember too much from here on out" As I was being wheeled out, I said my goodbyes to my parents and my boyfriend Liam. I was still hugging Edgar Allan Panda.

The operating room - going under:
After having the 'no memory' drug, I remember the surgeons asking me in a joking way, "So, when do you have to go back to school?" I laughed and replied "I do Distance Education so I technically don't have to!" I think they laughed, but then I was lifted onto the operating table. The anethetist was on my left again, with another drug for me. And one of the surgeons said "Edgar Allan Panda can stay!" and he put him at my feet! Then I actually for real don't remember anything, but they put the gas mask on me and told me to take deep breaths. After the 3rd breath, I don't remember a thing.

Recovery room - waking up:
I was cold, in pain, breathing from the oxygen mask and very tired. I was hugging Edgar Allan Panda once more. I was battling myself to wake up. I could hear the nurses and my mother. Apparently I was mumbling something that sounded like 'EEEUM' over and over, and then my mum asked "Do you want Liam?" and I said "Yes." My mum was like o.o then =.= then left to get him! That's when the shakes started. It was just a reaction to the anaesthetic, but the shaking was violent. It made me shake and I could feel the pain where the scar was. Each shake pulled on the scar, which hurt. The nurse lifted the icepack and took a look at the scar. I looked at it too. It was a good one! I was pleasantly surprised when I saw there was NO stitches. Still dopey, and shaking. Got more hot blankets. Then Liam walked in! I was still dopey and tried talking to him. Apparently I told him "I'm invincibubble" Then Liam left and my dad came in. By this stage I was more with it. And I showed dad my scar "DAD check it out!!" Still in pain, but got my oxygen off! Still shaking too. Dad left and then my cardiologist who put my pacemaker inside me came to tell me that "I have a new kind of pacemaker that is smaller and will last longer. I also am the first one in Australia to have this kind put in." I thought that was pretty awesome! "Everything went well and I will be leaving sometime on Saturday." Even better! As soon as he left, my shakes stopped. I then got the okay to be wheeled off to my room.

My room:
In the room was room for two patients. Me and someone else who hadn't come in yet. I.V. fluids, pain, regular BP (blood pressure) checks, regular pain relief, smiles, happiness, more pain, was the cycle for pretty much the rest of the day! My parents left me and Liam for a fairly long while. It was great him being there. (I cannot thank you enough for being there hun! I appreciate it SO MUCH! xxxxx) and returned with a plant that has flowers in shape of hearts! I will take care of that plant forever! If it lives that long! After saying happy-teary goodbyes to Liam and my parents, I was in for a long night, but I was happy.

My room-mate:
After a day of not saying anything to eachother, conversation struck up. It was absolutely GREAT talking to her. Sadly I do not know her name, but she was 44 years old. She has the same heart condition as me, (NMH), and it was like talking to myself as a 44 year old. It was amazing being able to connect with someone on a topic that is really deep and personal. She also has a pacemaker. She was getting a new one, pretty much swapping her old one for a newer model. I cannot say how good it was to chat with her. We talked for hours. I admire her strength through it all. She is truly a brave woman!

The scar:
It is as long as my ring finger. It has no stitches, but is glued together. It is pretty gross some days! The bruises/swelling/dried blood creates some pretty cool photos! I shall upload here when I am feeling better!

In conclusion:
All I can say is...
I HAVE MY LIFE BACK. It will take me a long time to get my strength in my muscles back, but I am feeling so much better. I no longer loose my vision when I stand up, and I no longer pass out when I stand.

It is now 10 days after my heart surgery and I feel great. I am going to get the life I used to have back.

To my ex doctors - go shove your anti-psychotics up your lying arses. You were WRONG. I have proof. I will be better soon. You loose. I won. I have the battle scar to prove to you and everyone that I won. I won...

To my parents, my real life friends, my online friends, my online friends who feel like real life friends, you have been truly amazing in helping me through 4 years of difficulty. I really could not have done this without you. Words cannot describe how much I love and appreciate you for being there for me!

Special thanks to:
My boyfriend Liam - - You have been my rock through everything. You have been my friend for years. It makes me wonder why I used to 'good hate' you. Oh yeah... You broke my hand!!! JOKES, it was MY fault lol. But seriously, friends like you are rare to find. I am glad to have you in my life. You've kept me smiling for years (I don't know if you know that) You do now! You make me happy and you keep me positive. You are ALWAYS there for me, even if you are having a rough day yourself. Hopefully now that things are sorted for me, I can return the favour in being there for you! I LOVE YOU xxx Thank you! <3

My dear friend Tayah - - From different parts of the world, I have found a great friend! While I have been away, I have missed you too! I have watched you grow with your art. Every picture you upload, I can see you building skills, trying new techniques, improving, growing with your work and I missed seeing it! I also missed Immortal Magic. (I really recommend you read this series. It drags you in and makes you fear for Jozzer's life every chapter!) I can see how much effort/time/emotion you put in your writing. I instantly related to Jozzer as I have to take a million pills a day too! Haha! As I kept reading the story, and talked to you, you got me hooked. You got me hooked on the story, and you got me hooked on your kindness and your strength. Any kind of illness is difficult to handle and deal with everyday. Especially if you feel alone and don't know where to turn in the rough days. You have been a superstar helping me through tough days by being positive, and you have been a superstar going through your own tough days! I love you and am so glad I came across you here on deviantArt! <3

Another dear friend Lisa - - It has been so incredibly awesome being able to talk to you about things that most other people have no clue about! (does that even make sense?) But you understand better than ANYONE! I appreciate you listening, and your support! You make awesomely creative items of clothing, and I shall have to get you measurements for the corset someday soon! (Check out Lisa's page to see her works of art! They are beautiful!)

Another dear friend Hayley - (I can never spell your username ROFL) - I have known you since starting highschool! You have been my best mate that we both laugh at stupid things that we have done, years after it has happened! All the band practices have been awesome, and I think we have nailed The Kill and Misery Business by now! >.> lol! I am glad to have you as my totem buddy!!!!!!!! I love you!!! <3

Yes, I can go on like this for SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE I love dearly!!! But I have been writing this entry for nearly 3 going on 4 hours LOL! And I am quite tired and sore! For the people who have read this, you are a legend. I will do a word count in word at the end!

So, I am back! Bear with me with late replies to comments and such. There is a good 1,400 to get through!

Love you all, and hope you are all well!
Take care,
~Sarah xxx aka

1,800 words exactly!! Here's a cookie for you for reading all this, if you did!!}